AN EPISTLE FOR MY DAD

I wrote this letter in the night of 31st August 2008, 2 am…….very late night…

Dear Dad,
Right now it is very late at night. Today is Sunday and I slept the whole half day. Sleep is not coming to me. I am forcing myself to sleep but I had my chances blown before it. Tomorrow I have to attend classes so going to sleep is mandatory for me. But sleep is not a materialistic thing that I can force myself to attain it.
My eyes are closed under the blanket of darkness. You know I am afraid of darkness usually but you can take it as maturity because right now I am feeling safe. It’s very unusual.
Realizing my friends asleep soundly, I am very much in envy. But there are no other alternatives. I casually request god for sleep. But I am not blessed with it. Oh god!
My mind is roaming now. Memories flourishing, conquering the spaces of my mind, preserved for my sleep. I find it so contrast but to my surprise happy days of past drops through my racing heart beat due to agitation of no sleep.
I am reminiscing my days with my family-you, mum and my lovely sisters. Happy hours of yesterdays lift me up and punish me happily by making me miss you all so much. I remember the days we sit all together and debate happily among issues, which some were very weird. At the end I and younger sisters won the debate. At that time winning was our happiness and losing your happiness. I could remember your gentle glare with the smile at the corners of your lips and accepting defeat. (Right now I am smiling).
I also remember that we used to sleep together in a single large bed (in bedroom design I learned that largest bed is king sized bed and it measures 180 X 180 cm, but our bed was larger than that. Yours and mum’s hearts were larger than any of the parents’ hearts). Dad you snore much. And I couldn’t sleep with you snoring beside me. So what you did was, you made me asleep first and then went to sleep. Thanks dad.
And sharp to all the memories I remember the days when I went first for my boarding school. There were no other alternatives. I had to go to the school (the courtroom for my justice future, as you put it). I don’t want to mingle those sad and funny memories right now. Trashigang Lower Secondary School is two hours walk from Rangshikhar. Do you remember I sometimes ran away from school during weekends? I used to wake up very early in the morning during some Sundays and hiding from wardens and prefects I came home. My friends sometimes accompanied me through the deserted pathway. When I reached home you never scolded me for coming home without prior permission. I know you too missed me a lot (hey, one point mummy missed me more than you because mummy missed me every hours of the day and you were indulge in works some hours of the day. So distractions for you. Hahaha).
So when I came home (bunking) just in urge to meet you all, I had less fear of walking alone through deserted pathway. The urge was my courage. But at the end of the day I had to return. And with the feelings of not seeing you all again for some days I felt unwilling to return school, and also the fear of the deserted pathway. So every time you reached me near to the school. You carried my packed lunch bag and we used to echo the forest alongside of the deserted pathway with our talks. We talked about our family, my future, your past and many others. Your advices were punch line in our long conversation. I was always thrilled and happy to hear your advices and still I am. You wanted me to become doctor but I hated becoming doctor due to my fear of corpses. I proudly revealed that I am going to be an engineer and you used to accept the defeat.
And after we reached near the school (Trashigang) we stopped for a while. You pass me the packed lunch bag and drag me near you; smiling face of yours soothed my young sadness. We departed with you saying not to feel sad and to study hard. My journey down the path alone began. I never showed you my tears but I always cried when we departed. Down the path and I knew you were at the place only waving me goodbye. You stood there until I was out of sight, into my school.
I never thought it before about this but now I wonder how you went back home after you reached me to the school.
More memories are rushing in. But let me stop here. Let me enjoy it. I want to ask you one question, if I bunk from my college during Sundays, how will you reach me back????? Hahahahha.
I want to thank you for being a greatest father and my best friend (mummy is also my best friend, so two best friends). If I have to pray than I will pray that I want you as my father in my all coming generations………..i love you and miss u………
And share my love to mum and ausas………….I love you all…
Yours favorite son…………..Yeshi Samdrup

REMEMBER, EARLIER I REQUESTED GOD FOR MY SLEEP BUT I WAS NOT BLESSED WITH IT. NOW I REALISE, GOD GAVE ME MORE THAN A SLEEP…..A THOUGHT TO REALISE HOW GREAT MY PARENTS ARE……